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Saturday, September 17, 2011

I Knew This Day Would Come--My Teenager is Pulling Away

My girlfriend warned me of this, but I didn't believe her.  I was certain there was no way that my  teenager would pull away from me.  He was different.  He was sweet.  He was my gentle soul, my first born son who loved me.

Thirteen came and went and I still had the same sweet kid who would hug me back and was always happy to have me kiss him good night.  But then he turned 14 and started high school.  Now it is a different story.  It is not that he is mean or unkind, but I can definitely feel him distancing himself from me.

These days my hugs are tolerated and he waves good night to me from his bed.   He is maturing and flexing his independence.

When I went to his cross country meet and started to follow him to his locker afterwards (I just wanted to see where it was and I walked behind him), he asked me to go wait in the car for him.  I guess having your mom on campus lowers your status (not that he really has any).

I'm told this is all "normal" and I keep telling myself to not take it personally.  I hope this is a phase and that in a few months, ok years, he'll be happy to have me by his side.  Like it or not, that is where I'll always be (even if not physically).


  1. Wow, I'm there with you..my son and I have always been the best of friends. Even in those times when I discipline him for being hard headed. My job isn't to be his friend its to be his dad but we are friends. He was always the hug me dad and mom kid, willing to give you a big kiss just because. He started high school this year also and he now retreats to his room at times, he still gives meaningful hugs but doesn't initiate them. He still says I love you but the words sound different. I try to remember being a young man his age and I try to put myself in his shoes but I struggle. I'm proud of who he is becoming but I'm sad we're changing. I pray as he matures we'll grow closer as men. Thanks Michelle for writing this...it speaks to my heart.

  2. Thank you Mario for your comment. I guess this is a stage that as parents we all go through (at least to some degree). Like you, I have faith that we will again grow closer as continues on his journey to adulthood.

  3. I'm told it gets better in their junior year. Let's hope so!


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